Hooper, I want to begin by stating my utmost gratitude to you. You entered my life in a period of immense turmoil and immediately provided relief through your unconditional love, loyalty, and attention. Your companionship pulled me through the darkness. You had such a big heart—literally and figuratively—for such a little dog. Thank you for being my best buddy.
Losing you today has produced a web of emotions quite difficult to untangle. I chose you from a litter (owned by a crazy lady) two years before I left for college, and when I departed for Hopkins, I remember feeling like I was losing a piece of you. I read Reddit threads and Quora posts on how to cope. Our relationship had to evolve since I would be halfway across the country and only return home a few times per year. This reality has eaten at me for years, as I felt I had abandoned you. Today, I feel like I am losing you for a second time.
I remember one afternoon after school I came home and you had had an accident on the tile floor. I raised my voice at you. You were just a baby and would have held it if you could have. I have yet to forgive myself, and that scene still replays in my mind. I know you would tell me to forgive myself. Maybe in the coming weeks as I further reflect on your life I will.
I am reminded today how it feels to interact with death. Death is unyielding. We can try to fight it, but when it is our time, it is our time. Death takes our breath away and brings us to a standstill—even as the outside world carries on and the Earth keeps spinning. Hooper, you fought a magnificent battle—evidenced by how quickly you passed after the vet prescribed a sedative and you lost your faculties to fight. You are a fighter. I am proud of you and am grateful you are no longer suffering.
Thank you for supporting my mother the last seven years I’ve been away for college and work. You have been a tremendous companion to her.
I am certain I will have more thoughts in the coming days and weeks. However, I wanted to express my emotions, and writing is the best way for me to do that. The above isn’t fleshed out; it’s raw, like my current state.
You were the sweetest boy, and I am lucky we crossed paths at the same time in this life. Thank you for your love and the lessons you taught me. I love you.
Kale